An Out of Place Mind

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Scout.

I was 18 and just about to graduate. I was dealing with depression and always knew animals were the fix to my problems. So, the first big girl purchase I ever made was you. I had begged Mami for weeks to let me get a dog.
“a small one, nothing big”

you were small, body wise. But on the other hand, you thought you were a 150 pound dog.
I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I saw jack russell terrier puppies. I didn’t do my research until after you were home with me. Once I started to read, I realized how much shit I was in for.

energetic. Stubborn. Loud. Hardheaded.

I had bought the Jack Russell for Dummies book once. I came home and the book was ripped to shreds on the living room floor. You sat next to the book and smiled at me and it was the perfect example of what owning a jack Russell is like.

But in the 4 years I’ve had Scout, she has shown me a different kind of love. Do you know that love that you get from owning your first dog all by yourself? It’s that. The way we learned how to mold our bodies against each other’s so your little body fits perfectly in my legs, underneath the blanket.
I took you to the dog park once and we made friends with two other girls. Maybelle and JellyBean.

I see the white start to grow more on your face and I cry a little bit because each year that passes is another year closer. You’re only 4, so I could half two other decades with you or life could get in the way. I enjoy the days that you run and jump to me, barking like the puppy you always will be.
You’re a guard dog with the babies, a puppy with mom and dad, and a brat when it comes to your little brother.

No one is wrong when they say they have the best dog, but anyone who knows Scout knows.

my first, forever, baby.