As a child, you learn from the ones around you. You pick up habits, slang, routines, and hobbies from the ones you’re around. Which also includes traits that you wish you never picked up, whether you realize it or not.

Some may not even realize it as a bad trait and that’s okay. But in my heart, I know what is aligned with myself and how I don’t want to act or react and that’s enough to show me.

Imagine this, you’re Boo from Monsters Inc, picking up the Cheerios. They’re the pieces you find in your childhood leading to your adolescent years and taking you into adulthood. You just pick up pieces.

Piece after piece after piece.

Are we checking to see if they fit? No, but we’ll make it work.

We have to because that’s how we were raised.

Don’t question it, just make it work.

I am a product of my father‘a anger and my mother’s need to control situations that can’t be controlled.

I am a product of my father’s loving heart and my mother’s drive to make anything and everything happen.

The pieces I have gathered have created me into the person I am, but some just don’t fit my puzzle anymore and it’s time to let them go. Some pieces just aren’t yours.

As we grow older, we learn which we’re made for us and which ones we bent and broke to fit us because we just simply thought that’s what was meant for us. We unlearn the habits. Break the generational barriers. Learn to make new ones to create a better life for ourselves.

I pour into people and wonder why I’m not being loved the same way. I believe that just because I give means I should get.

Truth? That’s not how it works.

I pour into people because I didn’t receive the love I should’ve. My parents weren’t bad, I promise, they raised us the only way they knew how. From their parents, who learned from their parents and so on.

Change is viewed in a minuscule way. You can’t change. Things are meant to stay the same. You’re not allowed to change how you feel after you’ve already said it.

No.

We are human. We evolve. We change. It’s what we are meant to do in this life.

I’ve outgrown pieces. I’ve lost pieces. I’ve held onto pieces.

But not all pieces are mine.

My journey is finding my pieces that fit together without bending or breaking the edges.

-K.